I have said from the beginning of this project of mine that the main purpose of sharing my past pain, humiliation, shame and fears was to help others. I have also said that if this sharing helps only one person then the sharing has been worth putting it out there, and up to this point I have never shared with this many people. I have to admit it was scary at first, but once I had done it, I felt even more liberated than when I had shared with just a few friends.
I know there are many girls who have been through similar bullying situations that I experienced in school who may not have come out of the experience as well adjusted. For those girls I say hang in there, have hope and strength and your perseverance will pay off in the long run.
For the women out there who had the childhood traumas and have not had a chance to get the help to deal with the after affects I also say, hang in there and have hope. Help is out there. Look for your own windows to step through and you will find them.
For so many years my past was covered up by the family members who should have been helping me instead of leaving me to flounder in my own fog of anger, pain, humiliation and dysfunction. It took a near nervous breakdown before I was able to involve other family members in my healing process and then find a therapist to get me on the road to recovery. Without my family, church family and husband I never would have had the support and encouragement I needed to succeed and be where I am today, a happy well adjusted college student picking up the pieces of a life that I have reclaimed for my own.
I encourage everyone who has been through any kind of abusive situation to stop the cycle and find yourselves a good network support group and definitely get someone to talk to on a regular basis. Within a month or so you will find yourself beginning to see a difference in your outlook, and you might just see a window you can step through that will give you more of a purpose in life. If you are a spiritual person these windows may lead to spiritual tasks, if not they may lead you to other forms of working in a socially beneficial area. Whichever way you go, the act of focusing on someone/thing other than yourself helps you separate yourself from your own problems for a while. The benefit is in helping others you actually get to see that some people are actually suffering worse problems than yours and in helping them you get a new perspective on yourself and the world.
Very soon you will find yourself beginning to look forward to a future free of the ghosts of the past and you know that you will be able to successfully move forward. I'm not saying the journey is easy, or short, it depends on you and your past. What I am saying is the journey is worth it, no matter how hard it becomes at times.
Beautiful Bloggable Me
